What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
Whats Jokes
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”
That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼♂️.
What is big and stupid?
The Titanic.
Dumb kid: What does homework mean?
Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?
Me:
"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"
What do dogs eat? Dog food.
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
What falls and never gets hurt? Rain ☔
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
What do Asian people eat?
Rice.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.
What do we call a gay Canadian?
Sophisticated cunt.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
What do you call sex?
Making cake.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."