A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
What's a Fortnite player's favorite era? The 90s!
What did the snake say to the mouse? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
Am I funny now? Because this is what you brainlets find funny.
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
What's the best thing about twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty-one of them.
What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
What do you call a black hole?
Butt hole.
What did the left butt cheek say to the right?
"Trump 2020."
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"
The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."
The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"
The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."
At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."
The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."