What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
what do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai ping
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Teacher: Kids what are something you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friend to make me happy. Teacher: What about you Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
What did the twin towers mom say when she fed them, open wide honey here comes the air plane
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his ass.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary? One of them knows the definition of no.
What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?
Hookers come back.
What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What's a depressed persons favourite drink
Depresso espresso
Nah just kidding it's bleach
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
Whats starts with M and end with arriage?
Miscarriage Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday.
idk he hasn't opened it yet.
