Whats jokes

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong.

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

What’s the difference between a bullet and a Jew?

One comes out of the chamber.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.

What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?

Hookers come back.

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.

What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?

White Vans.

What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes his ass.

What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

Father: "Son, you were adopted."

Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."

Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?

A: Wanna hang out?

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).