Whats jokes

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!

What’s the difference between a bullet and a Jew?

One comes out of the chamber.

What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."

What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.

What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?

Little kids leave preschool.

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

What's the difference between my dad and a hooker?

Hookers come back.

Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...

Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"

Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."

Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."

Dad: "Exactly, son."

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.

What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?

White Vans.

What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?

He wipes his ass.

What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

Father: "Son, you were adopted."

Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."

Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?

A: Wanna hang out?

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?

One of them knows the definition of no.

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀