Whats jokes
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
What do you call a Panera Bread you write with?
Panera lead.
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
What's black and white and red all over?
The darkness of your heart, the dishonor of your lies, and the embarrassment you feel when busted for both.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
What's the difference between taking a shit and the Ottawa police force?
Usually taking a shit only requires one ass wipe!
Hey, let’s go, we are heading for the Towers!
Wait, what?
Call 911!
What's full of lard and is reserved as Putin's cannon fodder?
Your mum!!!
What do you call a red potato?
A tomato. 🍅
(I know it's cringe!)
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What is the name of Hitler's WiFi?
The local Aryan network.
You know what I told my little brother plane?