Whats jokes
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.
Apple: What?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."