Whats jokes
What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?
Sharp! 🤣
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
Wanna hear a paper joke? You know what, probably not because it’s TEAR-able! :/
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.
What do a fisherman and a prostitute have in common?
They're both hookers.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
What did the baseball chief say to the Orphan?
GO HOME!
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!