I bought a guh on the weekend.
(what's a guh?)
GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰
Whats Jokes
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common? They say, "Come inside, it’s fun inside."
What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?
They both died with red rings.
Rape jokes are so incredibly offensive to stupid women like me who don’t understand what comedy is.
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
What sank the Titanic?
GODZILLA!
What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.
What happened when the man died? Yes.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
What's the sharpest thing in the world?
A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?
It's when the demon tells the priest to exit the child's body.
