Whats jokes
What actor do orphans hate?
Dom Terreto (family).
What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?
They’re both hanging in the closet.
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
What is the difference between a hoe's birth Daddy and her pimp Daddy?
The first daddy plants the seed in a cunt, and the second reaps the harvest from the cunt.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
Q: What did one dead hooker say to the other dead hooker?
A: Nothing, dead hookers don't talk.
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?
Me: I don't know.
You: Are you sure?
Me: I don't know.
You: Okay.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
What's green and has wheels? Grass.
I was just lying about the wheels.
What's green and has wheels?
Grass, I was just lying about the wheels.
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.
What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?
They both sprout water.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.