Whats jokes
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 120 pounds. ;D
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On the school bus, the pricks are on the inside, but on a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.
What is something in common with gay people and ambulance trucks?
They both take it out the back and go "woo woo!"
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
What do you call an Indian gravedigger?
Digdeep.
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
What is a fish without an eye?
A fsh, LOL!
What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?
They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.
What’s better than Ted Danson?
Ted singing and Danson!
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.