Whats jokes
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?
I've never sucked on dicks.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
What would an orphan call a family picture? A self-ie.
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
Ma-SCARE-a!
What's Mussolini's favorite food?
Fussolini!
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What goes in small and soft?
And comes out big and hard?
A tea bag.
What’s Steven Hawkins' favorite song?
"Highway to Hell" because it’s a staircase to heaven.
"Don't worry! Life goes on."
"Yeah, that's what's had me worried."
Umm, what joke should I make?
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?
Not a family photo.
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
What were the terrorists on 9/11 thinking?
"We can't go over it." "Can't go under it." "We have to go through it!"
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
What kind of flower do orphans use? Self-raising.