Whats jokes
What's white and sticky?
Toothpaste.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth picks.
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
Why can't orphans play poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is.
All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of orphans.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?
Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house is!