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Whats jokes

What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?

People actually want stuff in a supermarket.

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.

"Give me the good news first," the patient said.

"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."

"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"I've been trying to reach you for two days."

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!

The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

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    • What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

    At least one of them gets picked.

    What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

    Someone: Ugly?

    Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

    What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"

    A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."

    What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?

    654-721-8940

    (If you understand the joke, you're a god.)

    What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

    Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?

    Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂

    What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.