Whats jokes
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?
What is God’s favorite candy?
Jesus Pieces.
What do you call depressed Sesame Street?
Emo's World.
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
What did the plate say to the other plate?
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
What is a photographer's favorite card game?
SNAP!
What do you call a deaf person?
Whatever you want!
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.