What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
Whats Jokes
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
What do 9/11 and Covid-19 both have in common?
Asians caused them both!
What story does an orphan always get kicked out of? Home Depot.
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
What's the one game emos hate?
Cut the rope.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
What do you call a Downey with glasses?
No, me neither.
What’s green and smells of bacon?
KERMIT'S FINGERS ✌️
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
