Whats jokes

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

The apples get picked.

I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

What kind of tree can you High-Five?

A palm tree.

What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?

What’s an emo called Anna?

What do you call an orphan’s picture?

A family photo.

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette?

They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

What part of a vegetable can’t you eat?

The wheelchair. 😑

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.

Q. What’s the only good thing about child molesters?

A. They drive slow through school zones.

What did the weed say before he got on the escalator?

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

What do you call an autistic ant? An Evelyn.

What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?

We're all empty on the inside.

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.

What games do orphans hate?

Bingo.