Whats jokes
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
What day is Labor Day?
It's the day mommies have their babies.
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
Q: What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?
A: A baseball field has a home base.
What did the Chinese man say to his wife?
I'll chin you later.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A self-portrait.
LMAO, what is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other's just a watermelon.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper out of a tree, you know what will hit the floor first? The paper, because the rope will stop the emo.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.