Whats jokes
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
What does a cow say? Moo.
What is "moo becanira?"
What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
What do you call a fake speedrunner?
Dream.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.