Whats jokes
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
What starts with M, ends with arriage, and is every guy's favorite thing? Miscarriage.
That one never gets old, just like the baby.
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
What do you call a dwarf skating on ice?
A midget spinner.
What did the feather say to his wife?
You light my day.
What is a computer's favorite snack? Cookies!
What was one cool thing about Hitler?
He used to paint his thoughts on the wall with a gun.
What do Nemo and my dad have in common?
They both can't be found.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
Africa has every gun except for what?
A water gun.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Sonic says: If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
What’s the only other advantage of being an orphan?
The teacher can’t give you homework.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show?
Family Guy.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!