Whats jokes
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
What is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
What's the difference between an apple and emos?
They both hang on trees.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
Kid: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, mom, I'm blind!
Mom: Exactly.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...
... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
What did the tower say to the other?
"Man, someone's on fire today!"
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
What did the water say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
When you're sad, hit an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!