Whats jokes
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
What is the difference between me and a retard?
At least I have chromosomes.
What are some red flags?
Chinese, Danish, Spanish, Turkish and Albanian.
What's a depressed person's favorite game? Hangman.
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".
What does this mean? 👊🥩
What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?
Carlos.
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
What is the best shield to use during a battle? The emo kid.
What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.
An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?
The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Family Guy."
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
What's something red that is bad for your teeth?
A brick.