Whats

Whats jokes

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"

What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.

What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?

At least the mistake was loved.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."