What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Whats Jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?
Bagels.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a BMW in my garage.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
What would you call four Mexicans drowning in a lake?
*Answer: Quatro Cinco*
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"
What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
What do you call black people in pool?
Coco Pops.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"