What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
Whats Jokes
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Rosa Parks.
Lol.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
What noise does Stephen Hawking make when he dies? Windows shutting down theme tune.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"