Whats jokes
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.
What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? The rabbi cuts it off, and the priest sucks it off.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
What is a dead kid's favorite anime? Bleach.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What do you call a fish that can use a katana?
A salmon-rai.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
What's worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?
One baby nailed to 10 trees.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.
The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."