Whats jokes
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"
The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".
The man asks, "Ten what?"
Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Haloomi."
Person: Guess what?
Other person: What?
Person: Chicken butt!
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
What sayd the man to the woman??
Go to the kitchen lol.
What's the difference between a bird and jam?
You can ham your cock in a bird, but you can't bird your cock in a jam.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
You know what should give up and stay dead?
Fortnite.
What do cows like to watch? Moovies.
What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.