Whats jokes
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
What is the best type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
What number is better; 46 or 47?
I don't know, ask the kid with Down syndrome.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
Some people decide to start a blog.
Others decide to start a blog.
You know what my sink started?
A clog.
What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile?
"Get in the Batmobile!"
Buh dum tish.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Sinocyclocheilus anophthalmus.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.