Whats jokes
I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)
-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!
-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
John: What's 9+10?
Jake: 21
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
What are the similarities between Stephen Hawking and a bull?
They both charge.
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What animal lies? A lion.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.