Whats jokes
What's the difference between a Lambo and a pile of dead kids?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.
What is you main food?
Me: Pizza cause I'm cheesy.
Friend: Chocolate chips cause I have a lot of friends.
Girlfriend: Donut cause I have a lot of cream.
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?
When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?
What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?
KIT-KAT :p
What do you call a school bus driver that cannot walk? A silly school bus driver!
What is a dog that is awesome? A smart dog.
What is a dog?
A pet.
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
What type of tea do you drink with the Queen of England?
Royal-tea.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
If you're gay, then what the f*** are you doing trying to walk straight?
What animal is good at baseball?
A bat!
What game is for kids? Uno.
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?