What soda do mountains drink? Mountain Dew.
Whats Jokes
Q: What kind of building weighs the least?
A: A lighthouse!
What do sheep hate?
Their enemies: goats!
Roses are blue, violets are blue.
What? Ohh, shit!!!!!! I hate having dyslexia!
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
What do you call the ghost of the Thanksgiving turkey? A Poultrygeist.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!
If you're ever bored, just beat up an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What do you get when you get yourself a deer with no eyes?
You get no-eye-deer.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What are clowns good at?
What do people often say in a cold Mexican kitchen?
Brrrrrrito!