Weight jokes
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
Yo mama's so fat, there's not enough yo mama's so fat jokes to tell how fat she is.
Yo mama so fat that your mama so fat, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that your mamas just fat.
Yo mama's so fat, she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?