Weed jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.
And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"
And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."
What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.
Addicted, what did the drug dealer say to the dopewhore?
"Damn whore, you're not that addicted when you spread your legs open for any man. No wonder weed is more addicted than yo ass." Lol
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
When midgets smoke weed, do they get high or do they get medium?
When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?
I was gonna clean my room
before I got high.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?
A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?
Do the French people smoke weed or oui'd?
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
What's a convict's favorite chore?
Weeding.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.