Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
why did helen keller wear skin tight pants?
so you could read her lips
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.
After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"
"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.
Now, how about that drink?"
Why do blondes wear tight skirts? To keep their legs closed.
What is black and white and sits in a tree? A fridge wearing a leather jacket XD
Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and smell bad
My question is how fat people fit in tuxedoes, honestly don’t wear those wear ur regular clothes, ur belly is just gonna pop out
Why do brides wear white?
So the match the kitchen appliances
my jacket tore a little bit. it's a ripper.
why do men sag there pants so low and still wear a belt
the same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay
whats the worst part about getting old?
going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A polise officer said," Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said," I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said," I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
me:*gives her 5 dollars* climb that flag pole cute female:*takes the money and goes up the flag pole* is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw *next day* heres 10 dollars if u do it again *she goes up there* me:hows the veiw *she goes home and her mom sees the money* her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right *she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties* me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:...
why dosent the witch wear panties
to get a better grip on her broom stick
what do cheetahs wear to work they can't change because cheetahs cant change there spots
what do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know the real question is why was the chair wearing a hat?!
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?: She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff; they found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
