Way jokes
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
I'm emo, by the way.
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"
And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
My grandad and your hairline go way back.
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.
(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!