A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied “okay cool now I’m going to go sue thin mints for not making me thin.”

So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said “Yes ma’am.” She said “Oh honey, you don’t have to call me ma’am, I’m not that old.” I said “Okay, thanks bitch.”

How do you get 1 million followers:

{ RUN THROUGH AFRICA WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER }

Your momma so fat when she asked for a water bed . she go t a concrete bed.

one day chemistry teacher asked his student whose name is Raj waht is chemical formula of water the Raj replied HIJKLMNO TEACHER WHAT IS THESE RUBBISH THE RAJ REPLIED YESTERDAY YOU THOGHT CHEMICAL FORMULA OF WATER IS H2O,

What’s an Emo’s favourite drink?

Water, JK it’s cyanide

You smell like tap water and cornflakes

1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!

  1. Your so fat you could sell shade!
  2. Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good

RIP boiled water.

You will be mist.

Hot water look a**

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂

what do you call a old snowman answer water

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flyin around about six inches above the water. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal.”

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal.”

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal.”

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, “if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal.”

Then it all happened

The fly dropped six inches

The fish came up and caught the fly

The bear came out and caught the fish

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich

The mouse went for the sandwich

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pale of water Jack come down and then Jill came tumbling after so they had a baby…

What the difference between a water bottle and Africa? One has water the other one doesn’t

You know how to get 10,000 followers? Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

How to get a 1000 followers on instagram?

Run through africa with a bottle of water.

dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.

They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.

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