What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
Water Jokes
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
What do you call a rapper who can't swim?
A FLOATER!
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
What's the difference between a rapist's mouth and a sewer?
Nothing, they both spout shit.
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of water?
Lil Drip.
If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.
How does a rapper make tea?
He drops some HOT BARS into a cup.
How do rappers communicate underwater?
They drop some sick flow-tation.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"
What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?
A food fight and a water fight!
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved. This was the worst joke ever.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.
