Last words of the captain of the Titanic... "Where's all this water come from?"
See, morbid humor is just like water, not everyone gets it.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
Is your tap water running well?
Beta, go catch it!
So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."
One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
I am really hot but I hate water what am I
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
What do you call a old snowman that survived till summer!...water...yup,water...
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
what is sharks favourite day chewsday
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
