Water jokes
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?
A waterfall.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
If O2 is H2O, what is F?
It is H2O too; F is water as well.
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
What does a Mexican not like in their drink? Ice.
Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed!
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
Riddles not jokes.
What has 4 legs but cannot walk?
What has bark but no bite?
There's a one-story house in which everything is orange. Orange walls, orange doors, orange furniture. What color are the stairs?
What has holes but can carry water?
What is in front of you, but cannot be seen?
What is something you have inside you that is pink, but cannot be seen?
What can you catch but not throw?
And last one:
What can rule, but not command?
Tell me the answers in the comments.
Like 90% of this was from this link: https://parade.com/947956/parade/riddles/
One more thing: Don't google it or search it up, use your brain to answer these.
What cow can part water? Mooses.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.