little johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it and it said take 1 god is watching. He continues walking and sees a bowl of cookies that said take 1 please so little johnny made his own note and he wrote take as many cookies as you want god is watching the apples
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still cant cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still cant f*ck."
“Poor old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink. The gentleman asked, “So how many have you caught today?
”The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
we're talking the orphans to the movies we are watching spiderman no way home
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the tom holland spiderman movies with me and he started crying..
i watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. only got caught once.
A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."
my friend " ya mama so stupid she sits on the tv and watches the couch" me " THAT JOKES OLDER THAN YOUR MOM "
what did the kid with luekemia watch last night? Finding Chemo
Hello *everyone now question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??
I was watching a "don't laugh" video and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
Tell world best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry😈
one time i was watching tv mom: omg your dad is coming! me:omg really mom: sike i lied
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
Coincidence on 34th Street
I was up all night because my neighbors were having sex.
*was actually up all night watching*
Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?" His mother replies "to make myself beautiful Johnny." A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"
Why do people watch hentai?....because they are fake as pornstars are.
i wonder if stephen hawking has ever watched avengers end game... oh wait he cant
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today? Person 2: “Seven” Person: 1: “What the fuck dude..” Person 2: “I know right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.” (Based on an encounter I had recently)
