#1-watcha doing #2-watching a movie #1-oh I know why because you move-ie

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his watch? He went to the doctor hoping he could give him something to help pass the time.

Ignition of the bus engine



Q.Why did the cow cross the road A.Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie

Have a sink in your house? Eat it. Have a mouse in your house? Kill it. Have a child in your house? M I C R O W A V E I T .

just kidding now watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4

Watch BNHA season 4 today

Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin’ wild sex, Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick

pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT ITS GONNA BLOW

A man walks into a sky scraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An on looker watch’s this and is scared but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped cane back up a gain 10 minutes later. The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive and the man said with a drunk slurred voice I “I don’t know every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT! The bartender looks at the first man and says”Your and a-hole when your drunk Superman.”

let me tell you a story there once was a bro who constantly choked on chodes he didnt want his bros to ever know that he constantly choked on chodes he lived in a dorm and all day he watched porn but still he would suck on some corn one day he would go to go choke on some tasty chode but his bros found out gave him a shout and kicked him out yeling that he broke the bro code

What’s 72. 69 with 3 people watching.

I just watched a prog am about beavers. It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen.😂😂😂

I watched a movie about bones it was spine-tackler

My friend dared me to steal my other friend’s watch. I tried but failed. He really got me dare.

I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news saying he was a SERIAL killer


Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill, Jack stopped and said to drunkin’ Jill to build this still will take so long, Jill said to Jack well F—k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill.

Tyler: What’s your favorite fruit? Frankie: Pineapple duh what’s yours? Tyler: Pineapple Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I’m home alone Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there? Frankie: Right Now Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom? Frankie: Now enough talk let’s fuck Tyler: I fought you never asked