Watch jokes

A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?

"Coincidence on 34th Street."

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?

The doctor taking off his watch.

How to make time fly?

Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.

Who is not allowed to watch PG movies?

Orphans.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

What were Paul Walker's last words?

I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"

I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

We're taking the orphans to the movies. We are watching Spiderman: No Way Home.

What show do orphans never watch?

"Fuller House."

What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?

WATCH OUT!!!

What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?

The windows we watch through.

I watched a documentary called "Redline Carrera: Birth of the Memes." It all started with Paul Walker.

Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.

"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.

The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"

The old man replied, "You're the eighth."

Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?