What do u get if u cross Damian Lillard and a watch
A man and a women are watching clouds together. The man says, “hey that one looks like a giraffe!”. The women agrees and says, “that one looks like a elephant!”. The man sits up and says, “ that one looks like a mushroom.”
#1-watcha doing #2-watching a movie #1-oh I know why because you move-ie
I tried to make a belt out of watches. But it was a waist of time
what do u call a baby in the crib.
boys and girls watch monsters inc
I fear my last words will be ''hold my beer and watch this.''
A blind man walked into me at a store i said "watch it bitch" and he said "sorry i didn't see you there."
Watch Key/Peele "Detective"
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
how do you start a dance party? go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold
Why does this Stingray's wife can't stop babbling? Cause, she can't watch her mouth.
watching 50 shades of grey was more painful then my uncle fisting me as a kid.
how did the skeleton know it was ganna rain. If you said he felt it in his bones, your wrong he watched the weather forcast.
A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"
What do cows like to watch? Moovies.
i told my friend to watch naruto, it's been a week since i've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece
I watched a movie about bones it was spine-tackler
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
johnny was watching TV when you hear them say bitch and bastards so he ask hes dad "what is a bitch and bastard." dad say "a bitch is a female and a bastard is a mail." then johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say ass and shit so he ask hes dad what shit and ass means dad says "a shit is shaving creme like what i'm putting on my face and ass is a coat why don't you bug your mom." so johnny goes back to the TV and then they say fuck so johnny ask his mom what fuck means mom says "fuck means carving like doing to the turkey then a few minutes later Johnny hears a knock on the door so he answers it he then says "welcome bitch and bastard may i tack your ass" the people then ask wear hes parents are johnny says "my dad is putting shit on hes face and my mom i fucking the turkey.
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