Walk jokes

Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.

The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"

"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."

A man walked into a toilet and saw a woman fingering a man and said, "I think you're doing it wrong." Turns out it was two transvestites.

A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"

The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"

A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.

The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.

The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"

The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No, neither has he.

It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!

A kid walks into the classroom on time.

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

Zion is so big, when he walks it's an earthquake.

Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.

An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:

"UNKNOWN"

His hairline doing the moonwalk. Oh, I forgot, he doesn’t even have a hairline.

Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?

He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"

What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?

"I got stuck in a butt crack!"

A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.