I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride she says BOO! What kind of sick fuck does that?
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says don ́t worry there will be a third person in a little while.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.” The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing." "What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun. "Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
3 Nazis walk into a BAR
2 Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier, they put in their names her name was he gay and his name was shi A ho
stephen hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside. He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see”
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
One day a child walks along and asks” mother why am I called butterfly” the mother replies” a butterfly landed on you as a baby” A minute later another child comes along and says” mother why and I called feather” the mother then replied “because a feather fell on your head when you where born” then Brick comes along and says “ ahahhsdjsjskxs”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
little johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over, as she dose she is met by the principal. they go into his office and the principal say "your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." the mother responds "he is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? bring him in here." a boy walks in and johnnys mother says "this isnt my son, bring him in here i would like a word with him." the principal replies "ma'am, this is clouds." the mother feints
Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: doctor doctor i broke my leg The doctor said: i see...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
Priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids menu.
