Victim jokes
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."
What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?
Fall Guys.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
What's young, red, and has hot PTSD?
Prince Andrew's victims.
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
How many victims does Shaw have?
We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.
Q. What's an Alzheimer's victim's favourite song? A. Stand Down at Sundown.
How did people know the 9/11 victims had a lot of dandruff?
Their head and shoulders were all over New York City!
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
What’s the difference between Juice WRLD and George Floyd?
Nothing, they both can’t breathe.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?
Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."