Value jokes
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
"COVERBITCH, your worthless."
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
Yo momma is like a penny...
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.