Value jokes

Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"

Woman: "Sure."

Man: "How about for ten dollars?"

Woman: "What do you think I am?"

Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.

I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.

You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.

"COVERBITCH, your worthless."

What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.

Yo momma is like a penny...

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.

Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.

What's the difference between my phone and my sister?

I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

What's the difference between a boy and gold?

More people want gold.

A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.

My friend asked me:

Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

Me: "1 million."

Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

Friend: "Oh."

What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.