Value jokes

Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.

This is our motto- "Never fear orphans! You are even more special than diamonds."

Orphan club for ppl who stand up for orphans!

Bf: What do you think about our love?

Gf: Count the stars in the sky.

Bf: Aww, it's infinity.

Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.

Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?

1 scent.

I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?

2 pears.

I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?

3 coppers.

I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?

4 Lincolns.

I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?

NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!

Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"

Woman: "Sure."

Man: "How about for ten dollars?"

Woman: "What do you think I am?"

Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.

I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.

You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.

"COVERBITCH, your worthless."

What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?

1 baby in 5 dumpsters.

Yo momma is like a penny...

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.

Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.

What's the difference between my phone and my sister?

I actually give a damn if my phone dies.