Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
What's the difference between my phone and my sister?
I actually give a damn if my phone dies.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
What's better than poo?
Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"
