My career is worth more than your adoption.
Damn bro, that calculator is looking hot today. It got abs!
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
If you're reading this, then your life means nothing...
Have a nice day! 🙂😊
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
This is our motto- "Never fear orphans! You are even more special than diamonds."
Orphan club for ppl who stand up for orphans!
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"
Woman: "Sure."
Man: "How about for ten dollars?"
Woman: "What do you think I am?"
Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
I am like currency; people always trade me out for someone better.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
"COVERBITCH, your worthless."
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
