Uselessness jokes

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

What is the most useless part of a vagina?

The woman.

You're as useless as Stevie Wonder's eyes!

Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?

Daniel: Isn’t it the women?

Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.

My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To try to find his parents, but it was FREAKING USELESS!

Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.

My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."

The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"

My mom said, "I took your advice."

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

What is a bus driver that does not work? A useless one!

What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.

They say people are 75% water.

But I'm 100% useless.

What does a homeless man call his mother?

Useless.

What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.

What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.

What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?

The women.

What is the useless skin around the vagina called?

The woman.