The 30+ Best Uselessness Jokes

They say people are 75% water But I'm 100% useless

The depperessd kid getting bullied the bully : you are useless the depperessd kid : i know

My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things then she told me to go live in it

If you ever feel useless... Just remember that If you ever feel useless...

Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...

the Taliban

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores." Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER."

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

35. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry. 41. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state. 43. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away." the next time my Aunt visited she said "Where is you daughter?" my Mom said "I took your advice"

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

Men built civilisations Men went to the moon Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society

Women did none of those They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What's more useless than a broken condom? A fetus resulting from a broken condom.

Food makes are proudly presenting human flesh made foods donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives T and C apply this is only in the best shops in your town or down the road or in your country 1 like = 1 family member donated cos we're saving lives😎😎

What is a guide dog 🐶 that can not walk? A useless guide 🐶

On Paxomedy channel I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting. I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dag down the issue it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch and that was the beginning of their fight and wierd enough the Cock won! I went to congratulate the winner but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldnt have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!

My dad...came over late at night...he was drunk...he started telling me how useless I was...then I went to the kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest 47 times......3 minutes later......he died........now I’m losing mind..and cutting myself....