Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
I almost got caught watching porn. My mom got the bill for the account, but luckily dad had my back. I mean, we do use the same account.
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.
Why are the twin towers and after the girls kill all boys are similar? There used to be two but now there's one...
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
Q: How do you cover a Chinese's eyes?
A: Use dental floss.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Sell PC.
Go to Croatia.
Try to fly to the US to meet female.
US won't let me in.
End up in Norway.
Female leaves me.
Female gets arrested by feds.
Feds read all my messages and see my dick pics.
Just another day in the defib life.
Texans: Don't mess with Texas.
*snows 1 inch*
Texans: Please help us, President Biden!
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
Why couldn't an orphan use a fighter jet?
Because he couldn't use the homing missiles.
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
im in school lol
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
