My Grandma as any other she got a APPLE IPHONE 12 but a we all know we get dumb and so we buy a phone my grandma did not even know how to use it she even said How do i go on google i told her YOU CANT!My grandma was yeah right how do i do it. Comment down below does you grandma do this?
What do you tell your butt check when you need to use the bathroom hold it in so you want get constipated and die.
why can orphans only use samsung beacause they dont have a home button
What motorway lane does stephen hawking use? Hard shoulder
Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut 😂
Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they ́d crack each other up
Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it
I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me
rocks are used to much people take em for granite
I made a house for orphans and....
they had no clue How to use it
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
Brother 2(1): We have these weird circles on the street! Government is trakin' us!!! Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And its the government. Brother 2(1): Then why are there two in the left turn lane Brother 1: So 1 car isn't always going left and stopping the others. Brother 2(1): Then why are they 1 car apart. Oh to have 3 people going. Brother 1: Correct. When i see 1 car on the first. i go on the 2nd so my light changes. Brother 2(1): You monster. Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight? Brother 2(1):HA. yo mama would trigger the sensor. Brother 1. ARG. its OUR MAMA your disrespecting. Mother (brother 1):whats going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY! Brother 2(1): i think you should take your pills. Brother 1: found them. *imaginary mother and brother fade away* thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him. btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type... His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
I used to have a girlfriend, who would argue with me a lot for no reason, I look at her feet and say to her, here is £15 give yourself a foot pedicure then come back to me it clearly shows you have man feet, you are a woman you should have woman feet, no wonder you boss me around too much as if your the man of the house.
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for? campaign contribution to the Republican Party
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
you know what pun is used for waist? nothing. you'll find nothing. it's just a waist of time.
When I was little I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people..until I turned 7 I realized that it was just people doing voices..sad isnt it
