Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
There used to be Wonder Woman.
Now we wonder, what is a woman?
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
What does a depressed kid who loves geometry use to kill themself?
A hypoteNUSE!
You know you are from China when you use rice instead of glue.
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?
They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.
Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.
What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?
They both use strap on tools.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.
Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...
I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
