US jokes

Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?

A: Covid.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!

Isn't a gaming console something people use to not be alone?

THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE 50% OF THE GAMES OFFLINE?!??!?!

Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.

Sans: What am I using?

A trom-bone!

A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: I don't know why.

Man: Because they have a family plan.

Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.

Using Pi, distract that fat kid next to you and copy his answers.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.

What games do monks play a lot?

Among Us.

Clarissa is here with us.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use, you wouldn't get it.

A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.