US jokes

My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?

What is the difference between genders and the Twin Towers?

They used to be two, now it's a touchy subject.

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

What do lesbians and mechanics have in common?

They both use strap on tools.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

Yo mama so fat that the US (Mexico) and North Korea (South Korea) got into a war fighting over who gets to use her as their border wall.

What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?

Self-raising...

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use, you wouldn't get it.

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.

A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.

We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.

What do you white people use as pronouns?

Crack/her.

My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"

The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!