Ur jokes
You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
Ur mum gay, lul.
Always me when I “try” to make conversation :
Tell your mom I don't like waiting in queues.
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps
Is your mom a virgin?
Mine is.
How am I alive?
You tell me.
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!
You're so poor you wash paper plates.
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
Your mom is so ugly she made a blind kid cry.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...